The Lord of the Rings Conquest Game Review–Button-Mashing Orc-Kicking Fun
It’s admittedly rather strange to be thinking about The Lord of the Rings in terms of a button mashing beat-em-up brawler, but with recent Electronic Arts release The Lord of the Rings: Conquest, I have to do exactly that. And even more strangely, I find I’m not disappointed.
Now, I’ll be honest. I fell asleep briefly while watching The Lord of the Rings in theatres. I found it that dull. But by the time The Two Towers and The Return of the King came out, I actually found myself enjoying those. Why, you ask? What was the key difference between the dullest movie I’ve seen since I was forced to watch While You Were Sleeping and two sweet fantasy action flicks? Simple—ACTION.
The Lord of the Rings: Conquest, now available for the Xbox 360, Playstation 3, PC and Nintendo DS, focuses on the action aspect of things, and I find this unusual departure welcome. I also find it downright awesome, while I’m thinking about it. Anyway, what it’s about is basically the exact same stories that were going on in the movies, only without spending all the screen time focused on the hobbit. You’ve got all the various wars and battles within the wars, including the one where Sauron lost his ring finger and Gandalf fried him some Saruman. You’ll get to play as just about every part of every army that was ever featured in any Lord of the Rings series ever—you’ll get to choose between sword-slinging warriors, bow-toting archers, lightning-chucking mages, sneaky little scouts, and a legion of heroes including Gimli the dwarf and Gandalf himself. You’ll even get to go so far as to play the other side of the fence, and play as Uruk-Hai, a Balrog, , a Troll and more besides.
There are a LOT of options in this game, which is really just one long beat-em-up, and I find that this makes for a surprisingly rich experience that you can tailor to your individual style. You can play the sniper route, or go tank, whichever you prefer. And playing as one of the heroes is extra fun—I loved the close-range wizard’s duel I fought with Gandalf against Saruman. We’re in a room the size of the average multiplex movie theatre (one screen’s worth) and we’re hurling lightning at each other like it’s NOT an incredibly stupid idea to be in a small enclosed room with THAT much electricity. Seriously—the sheer amount of ozone in that room should’ve SUFFOCATED us both long before either of us managed to electrocute the other.
.But anyway—it’s still kind of a thrill, to rush into those clouds of Orcs and Uruk-Hai and suchlike, your sword on fire, shattering the horde. Or just sinking wooden shafts into their heads from fifty yards out, either way.
I’m actually rather happy with the time I spent in with The Lord of the Rings: Conquest. It’s nice to see that a series so renowned for deep adventure and downright literary overtones can sit back, relax, and let its hair down, if only for one game.





