You know those games that start off with such promise but can’t quite seem to hold onto it? Those games that put so much into a really interesting storyline and some sweet cinematics and then blow it all when they ask you to actually pick up the controller and do something? Mirror’s Edge is EXACTLY like that.

The story is nothing short of awesome. Ripped from today’s headlines in a Next Sunday A.D. sort of way, the world is gradually descending into a morass of fascism and censorship. Soon, all communications are monitored and those who dissent are criminalized by the government, who has a network of cameras and surveillance equipment everywhere. The only way to communicate in secret any more is to employ runners, couriers who hand-carry messages across the rooftops of the city. One runner, Faith, recently saw her sister get framed for murder, and finds herself forced to use her runner’s skills to attempt to keep out of the clutches of the law, and clear her sister’s name.

Okay, remember how that sport Parkour was big for like twenty minutes a year or so ago? Mirror’s Edge is a gigantic attempt to cash in on that popularity. And while they made an interesting enough setup–that plot is STRAIGHT out of Orwell and might well have made a decent movie if it had a solid script and a decent director behind it. I bet Devon Aoki would make a sweet Faith. But anyway, I digress. Like I said, the plot is fun on a bun, but the game itself is downright unplayable.

Advance warning here–if you have any kind of fear of heights, this game WILL freak you out. And if you tend to get motion sickness when playing a first person shooter, then Mirror’s Edge will be downright unplayable. Here–let me give you a VERY early example just to show you what you’ll be getting into. This is from the TRAINING LEVEL, implying that it will be the easiest level in the game. You’ll jump off a roof ledge onto an overhanging boom crane, which you’ll slide down before running to a series of jumps involving razor wire. Then, you’ll learn how to run ON WALLS, jump off a zip line to land on a pillowy mass of something and ultimately walk across a gap between rooftops by balancing on a section of PVC pipe.

Now, in terms of SHEER PHYSICS there’s at least two things wrong with what I just said. The kind of momentum required to run across a ninety-degree oriented sheer surface like a wall is astronomical unless you have some kind of modified footwear or a body weight of like ten pounds. And I don’t even want to think about trying to use PVC pipe as a balance beam. It’s curved. It’s plastic. It’s probably slippery. Trying to balance on that would be almost like trying to balance on an oil slick.

Now try imagining doing all this while fighting off the cops.

Yeah, I know–I’m freaking out too.

But that’s the biggest problem with this game. It’s a GREAT idea–credit where credit is due and all that–but man, they didn’t go very far with it, nor did they put a whole lot into the gameplay. I had a rough time trying to get anywhere in this world. Even when I knew where I was going, I really didn’t want to go there. And that’s a problem. When you don’t want to make that roof jump or walk that pipe or shimmy down that high-tension power line strung across two thirty-story rooftops, then there’s just no point. It’s worth a rental if you want to experience that high-flying mayhem, but otherwise, just keep both feet on the ground.